Why do I crossdress? Pondering the imponderable

I have literally been inundated by requests; wait no, that is not really true, but one or two people may have asked me why I crossdress so I thought I would devote some time to answering the question as best I can. This is a very difficult question to answer simply because I do not truly know the answer. There are all sorts of reasons ranging from the superficial, to the very deep and it is quite hard to determine what is really going on in my mind.

Thinking hard about life’s important questions

For the purposes of this article I will confine myself to the conscious reasons for crossdressing and I will try to avoid any sub-conscious, hidden or whatever reasons. I will also not delve into sexuality and associated topics. Not because I am afraid to do so, but because I am trying to write a 800 word article, rather than a 800 page book!

It is true that many crossdressers confidently declare that women’s clothing is more comfortable. This is often patently not true. Not only is women’s clothing made for women and thus necessitates squishing and squashing various bits of the male anatomy into frankly unpleasant shapes, thus creating some discomfort, but it is often uncomfortable for women too (yes I am looking at you corsetry). However, I have found myself saying that I feel more comfortable dressed. What is going on here? How can an otherwise (mostly) intelligent and (generally) sane person say that wearing stilettos, a bra, a g-string, stockings and a tight dress that barely covers your bum is ‘comfortable’? Well, because it is comfortable (corsetry notwithstanding).

The fact is that I feel better when I am dressed in this way than I feel dressed in male clothing. This seems insane. So why is this? All that I can say is that I feel more congruent when dressed in women’s clothing. The clothing seems to match my self-image better, I am somehow more comfortable, more me. I am able to access my innate femininity better, I am better able to express my femininity and this juts feels, somehow, right. I am able to express myself better, I can be sexy, attractive, pretty and playful. I do not feel this way if I am in men’s clothes. In men’s clothes, I am serious, boring, unattractive and somber. This is not to say that I cannot be these things when in women’s clothes, but I feel more complete and more completely able to express more of myself in women’s clothes.

Women’s clothes are also usually more sensual than men’s clothes. There is a wider range fo fabrics and fabric designs that result in a far wider sensory experience. Men’s clothes tend to be cotton or wool. They are generally ‘harder’ fabrics that whilst providing warmth and coverage do little else (except maybe scratch). Women’s clothes come in a variety of materials (cotton, wool, nylon, viscose, lycra, silk, satin, velvet etc) and are made differently they are thinner, softer and include lace, stretch fabrics etc. This means wearing women’s clothes is a sensual experience. Add to this the heightened sensation your skin has when shaved and I am surprised there aren’t more crossdressers. Just walking down the street can be a multi-sensory experience (with different tactile senses, sounds, sights and even smells coming your way from the clothes) depending on the way you are dressed (note I am explicitly excluding the additional impact that some crossdressers may feel as a result of fetishising the sensation of women’s clothing).

I also think that my body actually looks better in women’s clothing than men’s. I have quite refined features, my ankles and wrists are small (even for a woman) and as a result I sometimes look silly in men’s clothes. A large man’s watch dwarfs my wrist. Clumpy work shoes look ridiculous on a delicate well turned out ankle. On top of that I think my legs are my best feature and it is practically impossible to ‘showcase’ legs in men’s clothes other than running shorts or a Speedo. I think I would get some strange looks if I arrived at work in a Speedo. (Would I get stranger looks arriving at work in a pencil skirt? Moot point, perhaps.)

The feeling of congruency is important to me. It feels good to sense that your outward expression fits the inner you. I am simply not able to achieve this when dressed in men’s clothes. This I think drives some of the enjoyment I feel when dressed. So, why do I dress? Because it is fun, I enjoy it and it fits who I am.

Why do you dress the way you do?